Regular Update

We are finished with the camps and are relaxing in the city. Our relaxation involves going to the giant bazar, learning Russian, going on strange "excursions" and having lots of fun. 

We miss Mr. Nate and Audrey, who made our team completely perfect. We also miss our camp- but we do not miss the food, which was very very awful this year and made our stomachs hurt and ourselves sick. 

Praise to God, no one is sick anymore or dead. It is a good thing that we made this trip so long, otherwise we would have been sick for the entire time. 

We went to help clean up at the camp a day ago, this was very interesting because there was a group of helpers, who didn't want us to clean up. 

The scuba diver told us "Go swim! On the sea! Then clean!" But we told him that we like to work. 

He also said "по-английский - Haley, I like byecause- very beautiful girl" and we laughed so hard. 

Haley and Mary used a tent without a zipped door for their changing room, because we took down all the tents...(foreshadowing....) Haley was going to change, and she said "I don't need to make someone hold the door...I will just change real quick" Just before she was changing, scuba diver man came and whipped open the door and exclaimed "Haley!" 

Scuba diver man - who we think was drunk, kept arguing with Lёsha. He was arguing for the second time and came stomping away, feeling victorious, looked at us with a big smile and said "а это правда", as if trying to convince us - but he said it like a child..:) 

First mistake we made - to make the "alcoholics" as Maksim calls them angry - was Mary and Lydia cleaned up a tent, without looking inside to see if anyone lived there...only after they had collapsed it, did they notice it was filled with belongings, which they threw on the dirt, because everyone had decided that it was time they left the camp anyways. 

Lydia was a witness of the brown man who came to find his tent gone and his belongings on a table in the middle of camp.

"Nope- no comments, I went away, I knew he knew I was the one who took it down, so I went away. He just dug through his pile of stuff and first pulled out his charger and his bat."

The second mistake we made, to make the men mad, was when we cleaned up the swimming pool. It had hardly any water and lots of green slime. When Vova came over and questioned what we were doing and who told us to take it down...Mary didn't apologize, she just translated and Vova said "Where are we going to wash, we will be so dirty"  then Haley said "Душ!"and she made a little walking person symbol with her hand and showed Vova that there were showers down at the beach. He gave up and said "fine! Thank you." But he was smiling, so Mary thinks he wasn't that mad...after all, Haley was his favorite. 

As we were loading the giant bus, Vova found a ёжик, that was so friendly and he handed it to Haley saying, "подарок". Haley says, "This is a very good podarok!" He was very curious, and friendly, and he sat in her hands and just looked around. "He's very prickly too." 

After we had loaded everything, eaten shashliki (the most common picnic Ukrainian summer meal) - (Mary still isn't sure if she says "picnic" or "battle" ...) Dennis/Grant helped cook the shashliki, he's a good Ukrainian boy. 

We asked Maksim to let us ride on all the stuff in the back of the bus. Haley said "this feels like a third world country" We were piled on top of the stuff and we drove away from the camp and started singing songs. After we had bumped along the road, through Kotoskovo, we dropped off all the stuff at the gypsy church in Palarma. 

The man who lives there as a guard, wouldn't open the front door.. "He is a bad boy" was Maksim's explanation. Instead, we opened a window and we shoved all the stuff from the bus through the window. (Did we mention that there were 100 tents, 300 sleeping bags, pillows, and heavy mattresses, 3 bags of shoes)

Every time the girls tried to take something heavy, the Ukrainian men would say "No! Not for girls" or "You still need to have children! May it be so!" We tried to take the bags of shoes (about hundred pounds) and run with them...so that no one would catch us. 

"I got away, but Sasha caught me when I got tired" - Lydia 

Then we rode home, in an empty McDonald's truck, as Lesha showed us, by "ordering" through the middle window. 

God Changes Lives: Nelly

Lydia and Mary went swimming with Nelly, a lady who has trouble walking and talking. Red beard Sasha took her down in a wheelchair and she said she didn't like it, but she kept laughing. 

Then Mary and Lydia helped her take her clothes off and we went swimming. We didn't know that she liked to swim so deep...at first she just kept wading and we let her hold our arms to steady herself. 

Then she started to jump in the water - "it was hilarious, I don't know, she became this energetic little girl" says Lydia, "she was smiling and had this amazing joy" 

Then she swam so deep, we started plotting what we would do if she started sinking...we decided that one of us would dive under for her and the other would swim to go get Roma. 

Earlier in the week, we had been talking about what profession we wanted, and he said he always wanted to be a lifeguard. In fact, he said "I am a lifeguard! If I see a girl drowning, I can jump in and save her..even right now!" Then Karina and Lera were laughing, because he had specifically said girl, and not just "children" or a "person". :)

After a little while, Nelly turned around and swam back towards shore. On the way back in, we decided to jump with her. 

Why You Need an Audrey

Why you need an Audrey in your life:

She makes sure the tent is cleaned and organized 

She runs up and down the stairs with you 

She takes care of Skee Skee

She makes sure all the cats and dogs are properly appreciated 

She understands the importance of reading to recharge 

She keeps people awake when they aren't supposed to sleep because of jet lag (don't get slapped!)

She isn't afraid to tell the grandmas she -will- help with dishes and soap will be used!

She goes on the long toilet walk with you 

She gives lovely manicures to all the camp attendees

She doesn't kick when she sleeps 

She doesn't snore

She understands why a person needs a hammock in their life 

You will be sure to have peanut butter and peach juice when she's around 

She makes friends with the kitchen people and therefore you will get food benefits 

She adopts Ukrainian girls as sisters 

She soaks up Russian even when she doesn't try

Russian Lessons

A day at Mary's Russian language and Ukrainian culture school:

Wake up and have an amazing breakfast prepared by a wonderful grandma. Practice telling the grandma how amazing the cooking is and various food related words. (Very important.)

One person puts the food away and washes the dishes while everyone sits at the table conjugating verbs. It is very fun. The verbs will be used later in the day; you had better remember them!

Peak in the fridge and realize that there is no more персик juice. Better run to the store! If you can remember the word for ice cream you can get that too. Or just say что это and point and someone will tell you how to say it. 

On the bus practice reading advertisements. 

As you are out and about, Mary will suddenly say "What is that word?!" and you get to read a word you will understand. Or she will say "Listen!" and you get to hear a phase you know. Or she will repeat a phase and wait for comprehension. 

The ladies in the bazaar love to talk to you, so buying things is very necessary for language development. You can make lots of friends! They might even say you are so pretty they thought you were Ukrainian. 

The afternoon is the time for advanced Russian lessons. If you are less advanced you can attend however and get a jump start. This is important as Mary has a Seven Time rule. You need to be able to remember and use something after the seventh time she has taught it to you. Fortunately Mary's genius students learn by the third or fourth time so she rarely has to go to extreme measures. These usually involve object lessons that are calculated to make an impression, involving headscarves, cucumbers, and more. 

In the evening are Grant's lessons. They are funny to listen to because people get giggly at night and Grant has a funny vocabulary. Things like любимые другs, would you like to be stung by a bee, and things related to traps. 

Mary will stay to all hours if people want to learn Russian. So your dreams will even be filled with Russian. 

Why You Need a Mr. Nate

Why you need a Mr. Nate in your life: for many reasons, but we can't cover them all, so here some. 

1. Constant supply of milk and black currant juice and candy

2. He leaves soap, towels, toothpaste, olives and juice

3. He doesn't need an interpreter because he speaks everyone's language-...😃

4. He even interprets for those Americans who don't understand. (:D) 

5. He makes your life longer because you laugh so much

6. He comes up with games from the trash

7. He helps you remember words like хорошо = horror show = fine. Or "как" (how) - a Ukrainian Indian. 

8. He gives medicine and vitamins to all the children every morning...these medicines taste strangely like candy...

9. He has everything you need: including a chisel, trowel and bug spray. Unfortunately, he forgot his washboard, "I picked it up to put it in my suitcase...but I decided no" 

10. Every morning after he left the camp, Inna would come and hug Haley and cry "Meestyerrr Nait! 

11. He plays uno endlessly, making everyone happy

12. Mr. Nate teaches English with Skittles--and his students actually learn English. 

13. He has the most accurate melon sniffing nose 

Host-Family Life

We made a dish that Larissa liked so much, she bought the ingredients for Haley to make it again. 

We made salad, chicken and strawberry shortcake desert with the cream we whipped and cookies instead of shortcake :)

Anton said "do you eat this every day in America? Or just holidays? I will come to America if you make this every day!" 

Dennis asked Larissa how much the ambulance cost, she leaned back and just laughed at him, as if she would never tell. Then she said :) 

Strange Noises

Today Mary, Lydia and Dennis were sleeping in the room. Mary heard Lydia make a snorting snore sound and she tried not to laugh...Lydia heard this sound in the middle of the dream 

Lydia in Russian "I need to wash my dishes" (instead of hands" 

Haley, "How do you say tomorrow?" 

Mary, "zavtra" 

Haley, "How do you say tomorrow?!" 

Mary, "zavtrak"

Haley, "Does that mean that today (syevodnya) also has it's own breakfast?" 

:)))) Hahahahahha

Mary doesn't know the difference between hair salon and bakery...

"I'm going to the hair salon." 

"Why?"

"For bread..of course"

Someone handed money to Lydia and asked her to pass it forward, along with the name of the bus stop. She passed the money to Mary with a mumble...! 

We are driving ourselves crazy to find a bakery, which we know is less than a mile away. We've spent 3 hours looking for it...it's almost as if it has disappeared. This is our life without Mr. Nate. 

We eat so much food every day...we buy as much ice cream as we want, peach juice - liters every day, fresh peaches, raspberries, strawberries, plums, nectarines...and cookies :) lots of cookies:)))

"We had already been here for a week and I was totally used to having a foreign language around me...it was a total new realization of being in a different country when I heard someone talking to their dog..I guess I assumed they would at least talk to their dog in English" 

"Вы хотите сок? Вы хотите молоко" - Haley 

This morning we snuckily cleaned the kitchen while Larissa was out. Whenever Anatolik came in we would set our scrubbers down. :D 

Our New Grandpa

Anatolik - our new grandpa, who we always accidentally call Anton

Every time he answers the door, he has a huge smile and he says "please! Come in!" 

Once, when we flooded the whole bathroom, he made us clean the whole bathroom. While we were cleaning, he cut a pipe in the kitchen and was yelling at our Grandma to get out :) 

One morning, Anton brought Lydia a подарок - "Cold!!!" And he smiled a humongous smile, as he handed her a huge bottle of compote:):) (compote is boiled fruit drink with sugar)

One day we bought ice cream (every day), and we asked him if he wants some. He said "I will!" Larissa said "well...if this is a treat, then of course" 

Soap

When we were washing dishes, this lady came up and tried to convince us that we needed to wash dishes without soap because she believes that our soap makes children sick and is very harmful. 

Then she brought us soap from Michigan to prove that our soap was bad because 1. It had a bad smell and 2. Bad taste. Her soap was safe for even drinking and came in concentrate to save money and you could even give your pigs the dish water to drink with this soap. she took a dish and rubbed it - and it didn't squeak, then she used her soap and it squeaked. She even had toothpaste from this company, which she fed us. There was only one problem with her soap, she wasn't willing to give us any. But somehow this proved we shouldn't wash with soap.

Church

On Sunday we went to the Catholic church. It was a cathedral and a Bishop and three priests were concelebrating Mass. The church was very echoey so Mary had a hard interpreting. However, the liturgy was the same format so we could still follow along. The singing was beautiful. Some of the tunes were even the same. Mary could understand the song numbers so we were able to follow along in the hymn book. 

Incense was used and during communion pattens were used. Communion was only in one form. At the end of Mass, the litany of the saints was said. 

This afternoon, we went to Maksim's church. Mary was able to interpret some of that, the text was Acts 27. After the sermon and discussion, we talked and ate chocolates. Little Dasha was at church. Mary decided to not eat a chocolate right away. Oh dear! Dasha and her friend sat and ate them all, one after another. 

People and Places

Mary and ice cream

Ice cream comes in tubes

Dishwashing Defense Strategy

We took over washing dishes because all the Fedewas had gotten very very very very sick- very. 

1. Move in to position at the beginning of the meal

2. Do not abandon the soap container 

3. Allow other women to help- with the rinse only. 

4. Be bossy 

5. Send a delegate to get your food, so you don't have to leave your post 

6. If a sweet little girl wants to help, block her from the view of the mean grandmas who will hit her and yell at her to go away. 

The end

Sea Stories

This is a reminder to have the group tell you about the new friend Dennis found at the camp. We don't want to tell this story over Facebook, because it is too good of a story. Mr. Nate and Audrey - zippy the lippies.

Angelina (Audrey's sister)was worrying about how she and Audrey could stay friends...and Mary said "Just pee each other all year" instead of "write" - Oops

We took down 10-15 tents, rolled 50 sleeping bags, 30 mats and picked up 5 bags of trash...we were so filthy, we went to take sand baths in the night.

We found the jellyfish that glow neon colors when you touch them!!!!!!!! It is so amazing...We also went diving and found the floor of the sea covered in hermit crabs, who try to fight you.. Dennis went to pick up a huge shell, when it sprung open and actually- was a huge crab.

A different day the sea was so cold, no one was swimming. Mary and Dennis went swimming- it was so cold it made our feet hurt.

Lydia also has a hilarious story about a boy and his balloon...ask her to tell it. You will laugh-100% guaranteed

Dennis went scuba diving with Vova or Volvo as Haley called him. They also went fishing, but Dennis says fishing here isn't real because they don't go out deep.. While he was scuba diving, the van came to take us to the city...so we gathered up all of our stuff (two tents and luggage), put it in the van, and waited for Dennis to come back. Then Lydia had a great idea - not to tell him everything was gone. Eventually, he came back and then he sat down and talked to us for awhile at the dinner tables...we kept suggesting for him to go get some potatoes for us to make for dinner...but he didn't go..finally he went and came back "I think someone stole all our stuff and tents" :D

Snail Delight

We floated a mattress to the deep and dove for shells. 

Then we boiled the shells and the meat came out and then we pulled off the nasty part and boiled the meat. Then Sasha and Pasha added spices and cooked them with carrots and onions.

Then we tried to wash the smell of snails off our hands.

Then we ate the concoction. Haley and Lydia liked the taste, but not the texture. Mary liked the texture, but not the sweet taste.

P.S. Dennis liked it but was feeling ill so is unsure of his complete opinion. 

Sightseeing and the Sea

Ukraine Photos

Audrey tries to take awful tasting medicine

Audrey made a furry friend!

Mr. Nate playing a game at camp

We were stuck in an elevator for 5 minutes!

We were stuck in an elevator for 5 minutes!

Lovely dinner

Mr. Nate bonding with local wildlife. 

Exercise for Mr. Nate!

Haley and Grant

Mr. Nate and a friend from camp

Haley and Veronica 

Lydia

Mary and Mr. Nate learn sign language!

Mary and Mr. Nate learn sign language!

Hanging out at camp

We don't need a jungle gym, we have Mr. Nate!

Conversations

July 17, 2016

Haley told an idea to the audience, that we should all come to God as children and listen and pay attention to the needs of others.

Haley's heart was filled with joy when she saw that our babooshka had taken cold water (a rare delicacy) out from the freezer. Then Haley dramatically waved her arms to try to communicate that she wanted cold water. Babooshka Larissa said "no! This is too cold!" And gave Haley hot water. Haley was dreadfully ill yesterday, but she is better today and has new knowledge about the lives of ants. 

After Haley recovered, she began to learn Ukrainian sign language. :):):)

Audrey, Mary, Lydia and Dennis found a big jellyfish and swam with her. It was purple tinted and had big tentacles. 

Dennis and Mr. Nate have hauled 10 wheelchairs so far. 

"It feels like we are on a different planet."
"This means we are surrounded by aliens" -Lydia 

There are some very bad children at the camp. They threaten to put toothpaste on our faces. We had to move our tent (for other reasons) to a new place and so now the bad children don't know where the tent is. They are not gypsy children, just Ukrainian with bad upbringing. 

Haley made friends with a girl who is 10 and in a wheelchair. Her grandma is so nice and always talks to Haley even when she doesn't understand. 

"It's nice to sleep here with you" - Aleksei

Mr. Nate made up a new poem for English learners
"Mr. Nate, Mr. Nate what have you got on your plate? Sasha, Sasha I think it's kasha" 

(Kasha is a very common mush breakfast...
Sasha is a common name) 

Sasha is so common we have to add names to identify them
1. Bowl cut Sasha or The Sasha
2. Red beard Sasha
3. Shirtless Sasha
4. Girl Sasha
5. Girl Sasha the mean nurses' daughter
6. Blond Sasha or the boy who loves Lydia "How's the weather?" 

Different types of Kasha
1. Oatmeal
2. Oatmeal soup
3. Rice
4. Burnt rice
5. Grechka (buckwheat) 

Sometimes this food even comes with a delightful snail sauce or dill! 

If you don't finish all the kasha, you might get it in your soup at lunch!

Laughter With Locals

July 12, 2016

Today a seller by the road told Dennis that he should marry a Ukrainian girl because they are the most beautiful girls on the whole planet...and good housewives. 

One night a boy named Andre lay in Haley's hammock. He was saying "Do you speak English? But he didn't know our tent was next door. As he said this Dennis said "DA!" (It means yes) in a very loud voice. 

Dennis and Mary ate some shrimp eggs. Dennis ate Salo - Ukrainian pig fat. 

A man at the market, said we were dumb, so the man we were talking to gave us presents and yelled at the mean man. "What's wrong with you, they came from America!"

We went to a bakery and the girl behind the counter started laughing - we aren't sure why - so hard and she had to duck behind the counter and laugh- literally ROFL. Mr. Nate thinks she was talking about us and she didn't know Mary knew Russian until Mary said the baklava was Ukrainian in Russian. 

Mary and Lydia and Haley bought some fruit from two guys and they also didn't know Mary could understand Russian. After she talked, he said "I didn't think you could understand our language!" Hahahah

Everyone has learned a lot of Russian. 

Mary asked the honey seller "did you make this yourself?" And he said "of course not! Bees make honey! Hahahah

Mr. Nate got a blanket. 

The international trade ideas we will bring to Ukraine are: 

1. Slushie machines
2. Laundry mats
3. Sherman William paint stores
4. Purdue brushes
5. Toilet paper to the US

It's a veritable schmorgesborgue here. 

So much fruit :))))))))

Bathroom Decisions

July 12, 2016

How to choose a squatty potty in Odessa Ukraine at camp. 

1.Bring toilet paper 

If you can walk- use the toilets by the beach. They are sticky and stinky and poopy, but they have less problems that we will describe. 

2. If you use the camp toilet with a seat, beware of the pee on your feet. 

*A control subject describes their experience and provides their suggestions* "If you are prone to falling forward, make sure to get a potty with an actual lock and to hook it. Do not use the toilet with the curtain door, lest you fall -out- of the potty when you go to grab the door and steady yourself."

How to Survive at the Dinner Table

July 12, 2016

How to survive at the Ukrainian table when served by a grandma

Step 1. Eat very slowly

2. Try to give some of your food to your neighbor or Dennis when her back is turned.

3. If the food is especially tasty and you want to lick your plate, choose a neighbor as your watchdog to make sure the grandma doesn't turn around.

4. If she gives everyone too much, slip some chicken back on the serving plate.

5. Try and tell her that you don't eat much, she won't believe you unless you are a small child.

6. Switch plates with your neighbor or Dennis, in order to eat less or make it look like you ate all your food.

7. Spoon some of your neighbor's macaroni onto your own plate, and tell the grandma you have enough.
(These methods are tried and true. They ensure good feelings between you and your babooshka. *Warning* there is really no way to leave the table without a stuffed stomach of delicious food.)